Vows of Cohabitation

     A recent report showed that more Americans are living together than ever before. Cohabitation is up and morality is down. When people get married, they make vows to each other. It clarifies the nature of the relationship. There ought to be similar vows for people who choose to live together. Here’s what we suggest:

“I John, take you Mary, to be my cohabitant, to have sex with, and to share bills with.

I’ll be around while things are good, but I probably won’t be if things get tough. As the saying goes, ‘When the going gets tough, seek greener pastures.’ After all, the grass frequently IS greener on the other side of the fence.

If you should get a cold, I’ll run to the drugstore for some medicine—but if you get sick to the point where you take more than a day or two off work, don’t count on me.

And forsaking many others, I will be more or less faithful to you for as long as it feels good to me.

If you should ever catch me screwing around on you, remember it doesn’t necessarily mean that I no longer care for you. I will still probably want to share bed and bills with you.

So help me!”

Reprinted by permission from THE DOOR ( www.thedoormagazine.com ), written by Danny Murphy, writer, humorist, author of Humor 101, and creator of The Christian Comedy Net at www.christiancomedy.net.

Updated Wednesday, January 05, 2005